Essays

I Focused So Much on My Healing That I Forgot to Live

Fri, 21 Aug 2026 22:14:23 GMT

My work is expanding as my life experiences evolve.

What I learned inside pregnancy loss turned out to be true of loss itself, so I'm following the work where it’s been leading me for a while now, under a name it didn't have before: pleasure-based grief integration .

Before I tell you where I'm going though, I need to tell you how I got here because somewhere in all those years of trying to heal, regulate, process, understand, release, integrate and become a better version of myself, I forgot to live.

And whew, that was an inconvenient thing to realize for a woman who had gotten very good at healing.

If you came to me through baby loss, nothing about that part of my work is being erased or retired, but I'll come back to that later because you deserve to hear me speak about that directly. First, I want to talk about what changed.

What's changing

For years, my work lived almost exclusively inside pregnancy loss. That's what I experienced, it's where I trained, the women in this community are who I sat with, and it's where almost every idea I’m now teaching was first tested, questioned and explored.

But eventually I had to admit that the work didn't just belong there.

Your body doesn't check the category your loss falls under before responding to it. It doesn't say, Oh, this was a divorce, proceed with this practice. Death of a parent? Nervous system dysregulation is down that particular path. The body responds to attachment, rupture, shock, meaning, witness, safety, identity, what disappeared, what changed, and what the loss required you to become afterward.

Those things don't always follow the hierarchy we've inherited, where death sits at the top and every other kind of loss waits somewhere underneath waiting for permission to actually count for something.

So my work is expanding to meet women grieving the losses that changed them, including the ones that never received a ceremony, a leave of absence or, sometimes, even an acknowledgment. Underneath that expansion is something I had to learn the hard way about my own grief.

The years of doing it right

I came to grief the way I'd learned to come to almost everything before it: as a chemist.

A background in analytical chemistry and more than fifteen years in healthcare will give you a particular relationship with problems. You read the literature, develop a hypothesis, control what you can control, isolate the variable, run the experiment, examine the results and adjust.

It seemed to be an excellent way to think, and for most of my life, it worked.

So when loss entered the picture, I did what I knew how to do. I studied it.

I read books on grief, trauma, and studied the nervous system. I became a certified trauma-informed loss practitioner, holistic practitioner, Reiki master, breathwork practitioner and herbalist because each discipline seemed to hold another piece of the puzzle. I found practitioners, received the work, learned the work, practiced and lived the work.

Lisssen, when I tell you I was committed to healing, I mean I had credentials for my credentials.

None of it was wasted. Every certification taught me something, every skilled practitioner and mentor who held space for me gave me something I still carry, and every practice helped me understand myself differently.

The problem wasn't that I'd done too much healing. The problem was that, without realizing it, healing had become the organizing principle of my life.

Everything pointed toward getting “better,” and that's surprisingly difficult to recognize from inside your experience because it looks a whole lot like commitment.

But there ain’t no graduation ceremony for healing. There's no little woman with a clipboard waiting at the end saying, Congratulations, girl. You've sufficiently processed your trauma. Here's your certificate. Please proceed to living.

Nothing tells you when you're finished, and I had entered the process with the full force of a woman who doesn't like leaving things incomplete.

So I kept going.

By the fourth year, I could describe what was happening inside my nervous system with a precision that impressed clinicians. I could identify my triggers, track sensations, regulate, process and understand what was happening in my body.

What I couldn't have told you was the last time I'd deeply wanted something. That should've told me everything I needed to know, but it didn't. Not yet.

The noticing

What’s interesting is there wasn't a dramatic breakdown. No rock-bottom moment, no cinematic scene where I suddenly understood the meaning of life. There's a cultural appetite for those stories, but mine wasn't one of them.

Mine was much quieter.

Someone asked me what I'd been enjoying lately. Not what I was working through, what I was healing, what I'd learned or even how I was doing. She simply asked what I'd been enjoying... and I didn't have much of an answer.

That bothered me because I should've been able to answer the question. And because apparently the chemist in me never clocks out, what stayed with me afterward was the accuracy of the question.

It was a good instrument, and babyyyy... it measured something real.

I'd spent years restoring my capacity to function, regulate, understand and sit with what happened. Those were real capacities and I'd genuinely restored them. But in all that time, almost none of my attention had gone toward restoring my capacity to receive, desire, anticipate, enjoy, be surprised or feel good without immediately questioning why.

I'd gotten very good at surviving my life. I wasn't nearly as practiced at actually participating in it.

What grief does to the size of your life

The contraction

Grief contracts and it usually begins in the body. Your chest tightens, your breathing gets shallow, sleep and appetite change, your tolerance for stimulation shifts, and the range of sensation your body is willing to hold narrows toward whatever feels manageable at the moment.

Which isn’t dysfunction. It's protection, and your body is so intelligent.

When something enormous happens, your system reduces the amount of incoming information so it can manage what's already there. The problem is that contraction doesn't always stay in your body. Eventually, it can start influencing your decisions.

You decline invitations, order the same meals, take the familiar route around the city, stop calling certain people, stop starting things and stop imagining too far into the future. It's not because you're consciously deciding to make your life smaller. Novelty, desire and possibility all require some willingness to believe there's a future worth moving toward, and grief can shake that belief.

One reasonable little decision at a time, your life can begin to contract around you.

The wild part is that people may praise you for it. They'll call it strength, grace or resilience. They'll tell you, You're handling this so well.

Meanwhile, you may have quietly constructed your life to ask almost nothing of you because asking for nothing feels safer than wanting something you could lose.

And that's not failure, but it is worth noticing.

Why “healing” didn't undo it

Grief researchers have understood for decades that healthy grieving involves oscillation. We move between being oriented toward the loss and being oriented toward living, and both matter.

Living isn't what happens after grief. Living is part of grieving.

That distinction changed everything for me because when I looked honestly at what I'd been practicing, I realized there wasn't much oscillation in it. Almost every tool I'd learned was aimed at reducing distress inside my existing life.

Regulate this, understand that, process this, and don’t forget to release that.

All of it was useful, but almost none of it asked the question that eventually mattered most: Sis, is your life getting larger? Is it expanding?

That was the variable I hadn't been measuring.

I'd spent years becoming better at existing inside the contraction. Grief made my world smaller, and then, without meaning to, healing kept me that size.

Whew. That one took a minute.

The question everything now rests on

Eventually, a different question emerged:

What if grief isn't something we heal from, but something we integrate through the restoration of our capacity for pleasure?

Before somebody pictures champagne, vacations and a bubble bath with candles burning around it, let me be very clear about what I mean by pleasure.

Pleasure is the capacity to receive.

To receive beauty, sensation, warmth, taste, connection, curiosity, rest, laughter, joy, touch and desire. It's that moment when something feels good and your body is actually able to register it instead of rushing straight past it.

Pleasure, as I use the word, isn't indulgence or excess. It isn't a reward you earn for suffering long enough, and it sure as hell isn't proof that you've finished grieving.

Pleasure is a physiological capacity. It's your body's ability to let something nourishing, interesting, beautiful or satisfying in, and grief often impacts that capacity.

That's why someone can put your favorite meal in front of you, but taste doesn’t hit like it used to. It's why the song no longer moves you, the invitation sounds exhausting, or something can be objectively beautiful and your body responds with a polite little meh .

The world is still offering sensation, but your system simply may not have the capacity to receive much of it yet.

That's where my work changed because pleasure isn't the opposite of grief, it isn't what replaces grief, and it isn't the reward for “completing” it.

Pleasure is one of the ways your body remembers it can still receive.

A body that can receive can begin to expand around what it carries. Your grief doesn't have to disappear for your life to become larger. That's the work.

Why baby loss was never the boundary

Once I understood this, I started recognizing the pattern everywhere.

I saw it in the woman whose marriage ended and who no longer knew who she was outside of it. The woman whose career disappeared and took half her identity with it. The woman navigating estrangement from someone who's still alive. The woman whose body changed, whose friendship ended, the woman grieving the future she thought she'd have, and the one who lost a parent and suddenly became the person everyone else leaned on.

Different losses, different stories, but underneath them I kept seeing the same contraction, the same competence covering up their pain, the same disappearing desire and the same question: Who am I now that this happened?

Often, the losses receiving the least witness were carrying an enormous amount of weight because there was no funeral, ritual or socially sanctioned period of mourning. Sometimes there wasn't even language for what happened.

There was just a woman standing in the middle of her life knowing something ended while everyone around her continued as though nothing had happened.

That's when I understood that pregnancy loss wasn't the boundary of my work.

It was the birthplace of it.

To the women who were here first

If you came to me through baby loss, I'm speaking specifically to you now.

This work exists because of what you trusted me with. Full stop.

Pregnancy loss is where I first learned to listen differently to grief. It's where these ideas began, and it's where I learned what happens when a loss changes not only what you have, but who you understand yourself to be.

Expanding my work doesn't require me to abandon its origin, just as expanding your life doesn't require you to abandon what you lost.

If the word pleasure feels unbearable to you right now, honor that. There's no schedule or assignment you're failing. Your body is communicating its current capacity, and your job isn't to bully it into being somewhere else.

If this work speaks to you, I hope you’ll stay. If it doesn't yet, come back if and when it does. And if what we explored together through the B.R.E.A.T.H.E. Methodology, grief x Rebirth Virtual Summit, LiberationMethod or LiberationGang is complete for you exactly as it is, I honor that too.

This next chapter isn't about dragging everyone with me. It's about following the work where it has honestly led.

When it's more than this

Everything I've described here can be part of an ordinary response to loss, but not every experience should be treated as something you simply need to somatically work through.

Some grief requires clinical care.

If intense grief has persisted beyond a year and significantly affects your ability to work, maintain relationships or care for yourself, it may meet criteria for prolonged grief disorder, a formal and treatable diagnosis.

Similarly, if you're experiencing persistent depression, using substances to cope or sleep, unable to function, or having thoughts of harming yourself, please contact a licensed mental health professional or a crisis service in your area.

Somatic work doesn't replace clinical care. It can sit beautifully beside it, and you should never be confined to one or the other.

One thing to notice today

As this essay comes to a close, I want you to try something.

Name three things your body still says yes to.

Not what you should enjoy, not what you used to enjoy, and especially not what Instagram has informed you counts as self-care this week. What does your body say yes to today?

Maybe it's warm water running over your hands, cool sheets, the hour when the light in your house gets soft, a particular song, a weighted blanket, the first taste of some cold and creamy ice cream, or somebody making you laugh when you were absolutely committed to being irritated.

Some women can name three immediately, many can name one, but some can't name any, and realizing that can feel frightening.

If that's you, I don't want you to interpret that as another thing to fix because it's data. That's all.

Not being able to name your desires isn't proof that something is wrong with you. It's an assessment of where your capacity is today.

Unlike almost everything else in grief, capacity gives us somewhere to begin. You don't have to make grief smaller, and maybe that was never the assignment.

Maybe the invitation is to become capable of holding more life alongside it.

Frequently asked questions

Can you be too focused on healing?

Yes, but the amount of healing work isn't necessarily the problem. The issue is orientation. Healing can become counterproductive when recovery becomes the organizing principle of your identity, schedule, spending and conversations, while placing minimal attention on expanding your actual life. The question isn't simply how much time you're spending processing grief. It's whether any of that work is helping you reconnect with desire, sensation, connection and participation in life.

Is it normal to still feel stuck after years of grief work?

Yes. Most grief support focuses on understanding, processing and reducing distress. Those things can be useful, but understanding your loss and expanding your body's capacity to receive life again aren't the same process. You can become highly skilled at understanding your grief while still feeling contracted in your everyday life.

Does wanting pleasure again mean I've stopped grieving?

No. Grief and pleasure can exist in your body at the same time. The return of desire or pleasure doesn't mean your grief is ending, that you've forgotten what happened or that your love for who or what you lost has diminished. It may simply mean your capacity to receive is expanding.

Start here: P.U.L.S.E. ™ is a short, free resource for noticing what your nervous system actually needs.

Next: Pleasure Is Not the Opposite of Grief , where we're getting into why feeling good after loss can feel like betrayal, who taught us that suffering proves love, and why that whole equation deserves another look.

Amber Wood is a Certified Trauma-Informed Loss Practitioner and the creator of the PleasureProtocol™ and LiberationMethod™. She helps women reconnect with their bodies, pleasure, joy and themselves after loss through pleasure-based grief integration.

Pleasure Is Not the Opposite of Grief

Fri, 21 Aug 2026 22:13:51 GMT

Yes, you can experience pleasure while you're still grieving.

Let's get that out of the way first because pleasure and grief aren't opposites. They're separate capacities, and your body can hold both at the same time. Feeling good doesn't mean your grief is ending, it doesn't mean you loved less, and it doesn't mean you're forgetting or betraying whoever or whatever you lost. I need to make that clear because women ask some version of this question all the time.

Is it okay for me to enjoy this?

Should I be laughing already?

Why do I feel guilty when I have a good day?

How can I enjoy my life when they can't?

Underneath all of those questions is another one: Do I still have permission to feel good now that something terrible has happened?

Yes.

But I think the more interesting question is why so many of us believe we need permission in the first place.

Can you feel pleasure while you're still grieving?

Yes, and if that answer makes you flinch a little bit, put a pin in that feeling. It's worth paying attention to.

Most of us inherited an idea of emotion that works something like a dial. Sorrow exists at one end, happiness sits at the other, and there's one little needle with one position at a time.

If that needle starts moving toward pleasure, laughter or joy, we assume it must be moving away from grief, like a pendulum. Under that model, every ounce of pleasure gets subtracted from sorrow.

And whew, grief guilt loves this arrangement because now you aren't simply grieving. You're somehow responsible for continuously demonstrating how much your loss mattered. The model feels intuitive, too. There's just one problem: it's wrong.

Our bodies are far more complex than that.

Where the idea of opposites came from

The “one-feeling-at-a-time” story

Think about the question How are you? We usually answer it with one emotional state: good, sad, fine, angry, tired.

Grief gets absorbed into that same language. Instead of grief being something we carry, it becomes something we're in , and if we're

in grief , culturally we're expected not to be in much of anything else.

Our bodies don't work that way, though.

You can be exhausted and unable to sleep, love someone and be furious with them, and desperately want something while being terrified of getting it. You can miss who you were and love who you're becoming.

Two things can be true at the same time, inside the same body. Sometimes five things are true before breakfast, chile.

So why would grief be the one human experience allowed only one emotional lane?

Suffering as the proof

The second inheritance is heavier.

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that continued suffering proves continued love. The deeper the grief, the deeper the love, which can quietly become: If the pain decreases, maybe the love did too. Now, pleasure doesn't simply feel inappropriate. It starts feeling disloyal.

I understand why. Grief is filled with helplessness, and there's so much you can't change. Suffering can begin to feel like one of the few things you can still do for the person, relationship, dream or version of yourself you lost.

If suffering equals love, remaining in pain becomes a way to continue participating in the relationship.

But that's a bad instrument. It doesn't accurately measure love, it has no ceiling, and that bill is due every single day. Your suffering isn't a receipt proving how deeply you loved, so you don't have to remain miserable to remain loyal.

What grief researchers actually found

The research moved beyond this idea decades ago. Culture ( bless her heart ), is taking a little longer to catch up.

One important grief model describes healthy grieving as oscillation . Instead of grief being a straight path where you process and process until one magical day you're finished, people naturally move between being oriented toward the loss and being oriented toward living.

You remember, and then you engage. You ache, and then something makes you laugh. You cry in the car, and then you stop for tacos. Human beings are gloriously inconsistent like that, sis. I know you feel me ( LOL! )!

According to the research, this movement isn't evidence that you're doing grief incorrectly. The movement itself is part of grieving.

Time spent living isn't stolen from your grief, it's actually structural to the process. Another major shift in grief theory challenged the idea that successful grieving requires severing your bond with the person who died. Relationships can continue in altered forms, and love, connection, and memory can all remain, and none of that requires your life to remain frozen at the point of loss.

Put those ideas together and the entire pleasure-versus-grief equation starts falling apart. Your pleasure isn't being subtracted from your love because love isn't a finite quantity you're spending. Your time spent living isn't stolen from grieving because living is part of how grief becomes integrated.

We've been charging people, and especially women, an emotional tax none of us were required to pay.

What pleasure actually is

When I talk about pleasure in grief, I'm not talking about performing happiness. I'm talking about something much more fundamental.

Pleasure is the capacity to receive.

To receive warmth, taste, beauty, sound, texture, connection, curiosity, rest, laughter, joy, touch and desire. Pleasure is a physiological event in which something feels good, nourishing, interesting or satisfying and your body is able to let it register.

Pleasure is not happiness

This distinction matters because happiness is a mood. It's evaluative, meaning it says something about how your life is going. Pleasure doesn't make that claim.

You can be nowhere near happy about your circumstances and still notice that warm water feels good against your skin. You can miss somebody so much and still love the song playing in the restaurant. You can be angry about what happened and still taste some mac and cheese. Your body receiving one pleasant sensation doesn't constitute an official review of your life. That's exactly why pleasure can be available alongside grief even when happiness isn't.

Pleasure doesn't require you to declare, Everything is okay now. Sometimes it simply says, This feels good.

Period.

Pleasure is not escape

This may be the distinction people get wrong most often.

Escape generally reduces sensation. Think about the second glass of wine you didn't really want, the fourth episode playing while you stare through the tv, or scrolling for an hour and barely remembering anything you saw.

Escape turns the volume down and moves you farther away from what you're experiencing.

Pleasure does something different because pleasure increases sensation . It draws you closer. You taste, feel and notice more, and you're usually more present afterward - not less.

What's fascinating is that from the outside, escape and pleasure can look exactly the same. Two women could be on the same sofa, under the same blanket, having what looks like the same Friday night while completely different things are happening inside their bodies.

So instead of judging the activity, ask yourself: Afterward, am I more present or less?

Your body usually knows the answer.

Why this matters specifically for grief

Grief contracts. Your chest tightens, breathing changes, sleep and appetite shift, your tolerance for stimulation narrows, and the range of sensation your body is willing to receive becomes smaller because your system is already managing something huge.

That's protection, and trust me, the system running all of this is intelligent AH .

But protection has consequences because numbness isn't selective.

Your nervous system doesn't have a neat little control panel where it can turn down heartbreak while leaving pleasure at full volume.

Girl! Wouldn't that be convenient?

Instead, when your body braces against sensation, your nervous system may brace against sensation . The loss and the warm water. The ache and the music. The grief and the joke that almost made you laugh.

That's why the return of pleasure matters. It isn't because pleasure proves you're "better," but because your capacity to experience it tells us something about how much your system is currently able to receive.

This is one of the central ideas behind pleasure-based grief integration: Your capacity for pleasure isn't separate from grief integration. It can be one measure of how much your life is reopening around what happened.

What this looks like in practice

Because philosophy is lovely until all of a sudden your body wants absolutely no parts of it, here's where I'd start.

Follow sensation, not activity. Don't begin by asking what you used to enjoy. That list belongs to a version of you with a different capacity, a different nervous system and possibly even a different identity.

Instead, ask what feels good to your body today. Temperature, texture, weight, taste, sound, light and movement should all be acknowledged.

Begin below the threshold of resistance. If a walk sounds exhausting, don't force yourself to walk because some wellness article told you nature is good for grief. Stand in the doorway and feel the air. That's enough.

Your capacity expands from where it actually is, not where you believe it should be.

Let it be brief. Thirty seconds of genuinely receiving something pleasurable can be more meaningful than an hour of performing enjoyment. Your body knows the difference, and frankly, she been keeping the receipts.

Notice the flinch without obeying it. Something pleasurable happens, and then comes guilt or the thought, Should I be enjoying this?

Notice it without shaming yourself for it, but don't assume you have to follow it either. Sometimes that reflex is simply your nervous system asking, Is this safe now?

When you can't feel pleasure at all

Everything I've described assumes there's at least some capacity for pleasure, even if it's tiny. Sometimes there isn't.

A persistent inability to experience pleasure from anything, including experiences that once felt really good, is called anhedonia and can be a symptom of major depression.

That's different from simply having less capacity for pleasure during grief.

If nothing has felt pleasurable for weeks or longer, you're struggling to function, or having thoughts of harming yourself, please speak with a licensed mental health professional or contact a crisis service in your area.

Somatic work can complement clinical care, but it isn't a substitute for it.

Frequently asked questions

Is it wrong to laugh after someone dies?

No. Laughter after loss is common and doesn't indicate how deeply you loved someone. Your nervous system can experience moments of relief, connection, humor or pleasure while grief is still present. One doesn't cancel the other.

Does feeling pleasure mean my grief is ending?

No. Grief and pleasure are separate capacities and can coexist. The return of pleasure may indicate that your capacity to receive sensation and engage with life is expanding. It doesn't mean your grief is resolving or your connection to who or what you lost has weakened in some way.

How can I enjoy anything when they can't anymore?

This is one of the more cruel bargains grief-guilt tries to make with us because it suggests that withholding something from yourself somehow honors what was taken from someone else. But your withheld pleasure doesn't transfer anywhere. Your laughter can't be exchanged, your joy can't be donated backward, and your suffering doesn't return what was lost. That doesn't make the guilt ridiculous. It deserves tenderness. It just doesn't make the equation true. You can carry love in one hand and pleasure in the other. Your body was built with room for both.

Go deeper: What Is Pleasure-Based Grief Integration? explores the complete framework behind these ideas... stay tuned.

Explore next: I Focused So Much on My Healing That I Forgot to Live .

Amber Wood is a Certified Trauma-Informed Grief & Loss Practitioner, the creator of the PleasureProtocol™ and LiberationMethod™. She helps women reconnect with their pleasure, bodies, their joy and themselves after loss through pleasure-based grief integration. This essay is educational and reflects a somatic coaching practice. It isn't psychotherapy, medical advice or a substitute for care from a licensed clinician.

Quiet Ache

Sun, 14 Dec 2025 20:59:35 GMT

The Weight of the Holidays After Loss

The holidays have a way of amplifying everything.

The joy.
The noise.
The expectations.

And when you’ve experienced pregnancy or infant loss… the grief.

What’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year” can instead feel like a season you’re just trying to survive. Every commercial, every family photo, every “So when are you guys having kids?” lands like a quiet gut punch. Even well-meaning cheer can feel unbearable when your heart is holding a story no one can see.

If this is you, let me say this plainly:
There is nothing wrong with you, love.

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar so it doesn’t take holidays off, and it definitely doesn’t care about matching pajamas or festive brunches.

Why the Holidays Hurt More After Loss

Pregnancy loss doesn’t just take a baby.
It takes dreams.
Timelines.
Imagined traditions.
Future memories you were already rehearsing in your mind.

The holidays tend to spotlight what’s missing . You may be grieving the baby who should be here this year. Or the pregnancy you thought you’d be announcing. Or the version of yourself who believed this season would look different.

Add family dynamics, social pressure, spiritual confusion, and exhaustion—and suddenly December feels like emotional quicksand.

You might notice:

Your body feels heavier, you’re unmotivated to do anything
Shorter patience and sudden, unexpected tears
Guilt for not feeling “grateful enough”
A desire to disappear, isolate, or numb out

This is grief asking to be acknowledged.

You Are Allowed to Do the Holidays Differently

Let me free you from something right now... you do not owe anyone your presence, performance, or emotional labor.

You are allowed to:

Skip events that feel draining
Leave early without explanation
Say “no” and not follow it with a justification
Redefine what the holidays look like this year

This season may not be about celebration.
It may be about preservation .

And that is sacred work.

Gentle Ways to Navigate the Season

There is no fixing grief, but there are ways to move through this time with more softness and less self-betrayal.

1. Name the Loss—Out Loud or in Writing
Unspoken grief grows heavier, so journal, pray, meditate, talk to someone safe. Write a letter to your baby. Light a candle and say their name. Acknowledgment is medicine.

2. Create a Ritual of Remembrance
Grief needs a container, and it could look like:

Lighting a candle on a specific day
Creating a small altar or memory space
Donating or volunteering in your baby’s honor
Wearing or carrying something symbolic

Ritual doesn’t erase pain—it gives it somewhere to rest.

3. Tend to Your Nervous System
Your body remembers the loss, even when your mind is trying to “be okay.” Slow things down.

Gentle breathing
Warm baths
Walking outside
Somatic practices that help you feel safe again

Regulation is survival, not indulgence.

4. Lower the Bar. Then Lower It Again.
This is not the year for perfection, productivity or pushing through.
Eat what’s going to nourish you. Rest more than you think you should. Cancel plans if your body says no.

You don’t heal by forcing yourself to cope.
You heal by listening.

5. Let Joy Be Fleeting—and That’s Okay
If laughter shows up, let it.
If sadness follows right behind it, let that too.

Grief and joy are not enemies, they often travel together so you don’t have to choose one to honor the other.

If the Holidays Feel Lonely, You’re Not Alone

One of the hardest parts of pregnancy loss is how isolating it can feel—especially during a season centered around family, children, and togetherness.

If you find yourself thinking:

“No one really gets this.”
“I feel invisible.”
“I don’t belong anywhere right now.”

Please hear this: there are women who see you, who speak this language, who understand the ache without needing you to explain it.

You deserve support that is gentle, trauma-informed, and rooted in compassion.

A Final Word, From One Woman Holding Space for Another

If all you do this holiday season is breathe, rest, and make it through—that is enough.

Your grief is not a failure of faith.
Your sadness is not a lack of gratitude.
Your healing does not have a deadline.

You are still whole.
You are still worthy of care.
And your baby—however briefly they were here—matters.

I’m holding you close through this season.
And when you’re ready, there is space for you to heal.

With love and deep reverence,
Amber

P.S. If the holiday-heaviness has you seeking a space where you don’t have to explain your grief or rush your healing, LiberationGang exists as a soft place to land. It’s my community for women navigating pregnancy and infant loss—where you can exhale, be witnessed, held and move at your own pace. When the world feels loud and lonely, come be held.

Honoring The Spirit of Your Baby

Thu, 02 Jan 2025 20:53:31 GMT

Honoring & Remembering Through Ritual

Hey Gorgeous,

I know that the holidays can stir up a whirlwind of emotions. For many, they’re a time of joy and togetherness, but for those of us carrying the pain of pregnancy loss, the holidays can also be a stark reminder of what we’ve lost. If the past few weeks felt heavy, I want you to know you’re not alone.

As we step into this new year, let’s take a moment to honor the babies we’ve carried in our wombs and hearts, and create space to remember them in ways that feel sacred and nurturing. Whether the holidays brought moments of reflection or feelings of longing, now is the perfect time to lean into love and healing as we carry their memory forward.

Creating rituals or memorials isn’t just about remembering our babies; it’s about giving ourselves permission to grieve, to honor, and to begin again with intention and grace. Let’s explore some ways to do just that.

1. Name Your Baby

Sis, the start of a new year is a chance to examine previous ways of existing as you look to embrace fresh ways of healing. Sometimes early-term loss babies were never named because it was so soon. If you haven’t already, consider naming your baby. Whether it’s a name you had in mind or something that comes to you now, this simple act can feel like claiming the space they hold in your heart.

Speak their name during your prayers, whisper it in moments of quiet reflection, or write it in a journal. Their name is a testament to their existence and the love you’ll always carry.

2. Create a Sacred Space

As we reset after the busyness of the holidays, now might be the perfect time to create a quiet, sacred space in your home. This could be a small altar with candles, photos, or keepsakes that remind you of your baby.

This space can serve as your sanctuary—a place to grieve, to connect, and to heal. When life feels overwhelming, it’s a reminder that their memory is always close.

I would also like to encourage you to reflect on the following prompts to gain clarity about what to release as we enter the new year. Whether you journal or meditate, the choice is yours:

What created energy in my life this year?

What drained energy from my life this year (hint: the answer isn’t your loss; this is anything outside of it that might have also exacerbated the trauma brought on by your loss)?

How can I take steps to release the energy draining activities, people, places in order to co-create a more harmonious future existence?

3. Light a Candle

The holidays often come with twinkling lights and candles glowing in every window, but now you can create a light that’s just for your baby. Lighting a candle in their honor is a simple yet powerful way to hold space for them.

Choose a time that feels right—perhaps on special dates or quiet evenings when you need a moment to reflect—and let the light remind you of their presence.

4. Write a Letter

Writing a letter to your baby is a gentle way to release unspoken emotions, feelings or memories, and give them a voice.

Tell your babies about your dreams for them, how much they’re loved, and what their memory means to you. You can keep the letter, read it aloud, or release it as a symbolic act—whatever feels right to your spirit, do that.

5. Plant Something in Their Honor

A new year is a perfect time to plant something in their memory—a tree, a flower, or even a garden. Watching it grow can be a healing reminder of the love and connection you share.

Choose something that blooms in a season that feels meaningful to you or a plant that represents renewal and hope.

6. Create or Wear a Keepsake

After the gift-giving season, consider giving yourself a gift of remembrance. Whether it’s a piece of jewelry, a piece of art, or something personal, a keepsake can be a beautiful way to carry their memory with you into the new year.

Each time you see or wear it, let it be a reminder of the bond you’ll always share.

7. Host a Ceremony or Gathering

Coming off the gatherings of the holidays, you might find healing in creating a more intimate moment of remembrance. Host a small ceremony with family or close friends—or keep it just for yourself.

Light candles, read poems, or simply sit in silence. It’s not about what you do but about creating a moment to honor your baby and the journey you’re on.

8. Mark Special Dates

If the holidays brought up specific memories or dates, you can choose to honor those days in your own way. This might be journaling, lighting a candle, or planning a quiet moment of reflection.

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, Love, so however these days show up for you, be gentle with yourself and honor your feelings.

9. Join a Community of Remembering

The holidays can sometimes leave us feeling isolated, but you’re not alone in this journey. There are so many women walking this path alongside you.

Whether it’s a support group, a remembrance event, or an online community, connecting with others can remind you that your baby’s memory lives on—not just in your heart but in the hearts of those who understand your journey.

10. Trust Your Spirit

As you move into this new season, remember that your connection to your baby is eternal. They live within you, in your heart and your spirit. Trust yourself to honor them in ways that feel meaningful and healing.

There’s no perfect way to do this, Sis—only the way that’s right for you. Your love for them is what matters most, and that love will always guide you.

This time of year is all about renewal and reflection. Honoring your baby doesn’t mean staying stuck in the pain; it means carrying their memory forward with love and grace. Whatever rituals or practices you choose, know that you’re walking this journey with strength, and you are not alone.

Until next time… be well, Love

Supporting a Loss Mama on Mother's Day

Sat, 11 May 2024 20:38:47 GMT

A Heartfelt Guide

Mother's Day is a beautiful occasion to celebrate the incredible women in our lives who have nurtured, loved, and guided us. But for women who have experienced the pain of pregnancy loss, Mother's Day can evoke a complex array of emotions. It’s for this reason I think it’s important to explore how you can provide support, love, and understanding to a woman navigating the isolating-terrain of grief and loss on this special day - whether you’ve experienced pregnancy loss or not.

1. Validate Her Feelings:

First and foremost, acknowledge and validate her feelings. Let her know that it's okay to feel a mix of emotions on Mother's Day – whether it's sadness, anger, longing, or even moments of joy and sorrow. Assure her that her emotions are valid and that you're there to support her through it. Most importantly, ensure she knows that it’s okay to not be okay.

2. Offer Gentle Remembrance:

Consider honoring the memory of her lost pregnancies in a gentle and respectful manner. This could involve creating a sacred space for her to remember and reflect, perhaps through lighting a candle, planting a tree, or writing a heartfelt letter to her unborn children. Let her know that their presence, though unseen, is deeply felt and cherished.

3. Be Present, Listen, and Hold Space:

Sometimes, the most powerful form of support is simply being present and listening without judgment. Create a safe and nurturing environment where she feels comfortable expressing her thoughts, fears, and hopes. Actively listen and hold space for her emotions without trying to fix or minimize her pain.

4. Offer Acts of Love and Kindness:

On Mother's Day, consider offering acts of love and kindness that acknowledge her journey and honor her resilience. This could be anything from preparing her favorite meal, giving her a thoughtful gift that honors her motherhood, or simply spending quality time together engaging in activities that bring her joy.

5. Encourage Self-Care and Healing:

Encourage her to prioritize self-care and engage in activities that nurture her physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Whether it's practicing mindfulness, seeking professional support through therapy or support groups, or indulging in activities that bring her solace, remind her that her healing journey is important and deserves care and attention.

6. Embrace the Power of Spirituality:

For those who find solace in spirituality, Mother's Day can be an opportunity to connect with the divine and draw strength. Encourage her to lean into her spiritual beliefs, whether through prayer, meditation, or rituals that honor the sacredness of her journey as well as the spirits of her babies.

Supporting a woman who has experienced multiple pregnancy losses on Mother's Day requires a delicate balance of love, compassion, and understanding. You may never have experienced pregnancy loss yourself, but by validating her feelings, offering support, being present, and encouraging self-care and healing, you can provide invaluable support. Above all, let her know that she is seen, heard, and deeply loved – not just on Mother's Day, but every day.

And to any Loss Mama's reading, know that I'm holding you in the light and prepared to support you on your journey.

Until next time... be well, Love.

Sea of Emotions: Healing Emotional Trauma after Pregnancy

Sun, 04 Jun 2023 20:06:29 GMT

Pregnancy loss is a profound and deeply emotional experience that can leave a lasting impact on a woman's mind, body, and spirit. The journey of conceiving, nurturing life within, and then losing that precious connection can evoke intense emotional trauma - that’s not always identified as trauma. These experiences have the power to manifest within the body, creating energetic blockages and disrupting the natural flow of life force energy. Here, we will explore the profound impact of emotional trauma on the body after pregnancy loss and delve into transformative ways to release and heal these wounds.

I experienced my first miscarriage on Thanksgiving Day 2017. It was the most devastating experience of my life. My husband and I had traveled from Atlanta to Maryland to spend time with his family for the holiday. I was 7 weeks pregnant, this was going to be our first child, and thrilled was an understatement. We made a pit stop along the way when I noticed blood after using the bathroom. It made me nervous, but I made a choice not to worry about it. Miscarriage just wasn’t. on my. radar. We made it to his Aunt’s home, where we were staying, but the bleeding didn’t let up. It continued for the next couple of days and then the cramping began, as I came to the realization that our dream of becoming parents was quickly coming to an end before it even started. And here I was… meeting much of his family for the first time and putting on a happy face to hold this sacred experience close to my heart. I think not being able to retreat and nurture myself during that time made the miscarriage that much more intense. I wanted to be anywhere else, doing anything else except navigating that experience. As the festivities came to a close, I was able to find moments of quietness to process and grieve and come to terms with what happened, but the silence was so loud. Worst of all was witnessing my husband break down. One moment shattered his heart into a million pieces and it destroyed me.

When we left Maryland, we left our dreams of becoming parents. We left our hopes for the life and experiences we wanted to share with our baby. We left our identities. Returning home felt lonely. It felt painful and empty. It was isolating. Still grieving the loss of my Father who lost his battle with brain cancer the year prior, our baby’s arrival was the joy we needed; not this ? I just didn’t know what to do. I stood firm in my Christian walk at that time, but was so angry. I couldn’t believe God would allow us to experience this level of suffering. Silly when I think back on it because the Bible is filled with stories of suffering, but sometimes being thrust into your own causes you to forget it’s part of the human experience. However, I knew I needed to stay connected to Source, so I prayed for everyone else. I would ask friends and family how I could pray for them because I couldn’t pray for myself. Then, hello Shame! Because who else had gone through this? I thought, no one else in my immediate family or friend circle so I did the best I could. I got up and went to work the following week, showed up on virtual calls, met with my internal team and clients as if nothing happened because it was entirely too personal to share and I couldn’t imagine being alone with my thoughts for too long. The nights were the toughest. That’s when I allowed myself to feel the raw edges of every emotion. From not being able to sleep to waking up crying and being so lovingly embraced by my husband in those tender moments. Having witnessed the grace with which my Mother grieved the loss of my Father - her partner of 37 years, I knew that allowing myself to feel the emotions was necessary for my healing process and I’ve always wanted to be like my Mama. So there we were… Brokenhearted. Confused. Lost. Angry. Grieving.

Yet still hopeful and so so grateful that we had one another. I had a support system of beautifully grounded women who so lovingly pulled me from the depths of my despair with every prayer, scripture, encouraging word, phone call, and text. The lessons are among the things I hold closest to my heart now. I learned the true meaning of sisterhood. I learned who my prayer warriors were. I learned that not only was I stronger than I thought, but that I could be strong and soft at the same time; just like Mama. I learned that my Daddy was closest to me during that time from the spiritual realm. I learned that my husband and I are foundationally equipped to endure anything. I learned that I am so deeply loved by so many people. I learned more about God’s gentle nature and comforting presence. I learned that purpose is so often shrouded in the most devastatingly challenging experiences. I learned that I have been sent to guide and support other Angel Mamas in navigating their experiences with pregnancy loss while also normalizing the conversation around it.

So how do we transcend our grief?

The first step towards healing is acknowledging the depth of pain caused by your pregnancy loss. It’s so necessary to allow yourself to grieve and honor the emotional impact it has had on your being. Understand that your emotions are valid and natural responses to an extraordinary loss. I knew my emotions were valid and I allowed myself to feel all of them… the painful ones, the embarrassing ones, the shameful ones, the hopeful ones, the shallow ones, the envious ones. Every emotion. I recognize there will be times when allowing your physical response to an emotion felt may not be the most appropriate, but there will also be times when it’s perfectly appropriate and those are the times you must allow yourself freedom of expression. If you don’t and instead choose to suppress your emotions, they’ll bubble to the surface and burst through when you least expect and most likely, an inopportune time. So give yourself permission to feel the feels through the journey.

You must practice self-compassion by embracing your journey and giving yourself permission to heal at your own pace. Allow yourself the time and space needed to process your emotions, releasing any guilt or shame that may arise, without judgment of self. You also may feel the need to establish boundaries with those around you who may not fully understand or support your journey or your healing process. I wasn’t able to embrace the journey in those early days because I struggled to accept that this was my reality, but had I known this was part of the process I think it might have been easier to accept. It’s also easy to slip into regrets and guilt, so allow yourself the time necessary to move through your process with all the compassion you need to extend yourself. Understand that healing is unique and individual, and it’s also okay to seek support when needed.

Create a sacred space for yourself where you can engage in healing practices. This one was huge for me! I had a place, but I didn’t realize it would become THE place. The place where I came to cry, talk to my Daddy, journal, sit in silence, read, perform healing rituals, meditate, move my body and pray. It could be a peaceful corner in your home, a serene natural setting, or even an altar dedicated to honoring your lost baby. Fill this space with objects that hold meaning for you, such as candles, crystals, or photographs and allow it to be a sanctuary for self-reflection and healing. Make it personal to you and your experience.

Rituals can provide a powerful means of releasing emotional trauma. Consider creating a ritual that resonates with you, such as writing a heartfelt letter to your lost baby, creating art or poetry, or performing a symbolic gesture, like releasing a flower into a body of water or a biodegradable lantern into the ether. Healing rituals grounded me in my own sacred power so much more than I ever knew possible. They allowed me to honor the spirit of my baby and I was able to release the pain of their absence - which helped me shift to gratitude for their presence and the fact that they chose us to be their parents, even if for just a moment. These acts of intention and surrender can help release stagnant emotions and invite healing energy to flow. What ritual(s) resonate with you most?

Engaging in mind-body practices can facilitate the integration of healing on multiple levels. Explore practices such as meditation, breathwork, gentle yoga, dancing or deep stretching to bring harmony and balance to your mind, body, and spirit. You could even seek out the assistance and support of a Reiki Practitioner to align and balance your main body chakra system to support your healing process. Deep stretching and meditation were already part of my self-care practice, but I had no idea how beneficial they are in transcending grief until I was face-to-face with my own. Pregnancy loss is seldom referred to as trauma, especially by healthcare clinicians, but it absolutely is. Trauma, by definition, is anything that threatens one’s security. We hold the energy of every traumatic experience in our bodies and when left unresolved (meaning un- released ), it can manifest into physical disease and discomfort. For these reasons, it’s incredibly important to move your way through your grief. These practices help release stored trauma, cultivate resilience, and foster a deeper connection with your inner self.

I know it feels isolating, but remember that you don’t have to navigate this healing journey alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or support groups who can offer empathy, understanding, and a safe space for sharing your experiences. Seeking guidance from a Pregnancy Loss Practitioner such as myself, a Professional Counselor or Therapist can also be immensely helpful in facilitating the healing process and providing additional tools for emotional release.

Explore and nurture your spirituality as a means of finding solace and guidance. This could involve connecting deeper with God/Source, engaging in prayer and meditation, exploring alternative spiritual practices, or seeking wisdom in nature. My experience was challenging as I was rooted in my relationship with God, but I struggled to connect when the experience of my loss was so raw and acute, but connecting to others who were willing to engage in prayer with me as well as me choosing to pray for others allowed me to maintain my connection. Spirituality can bring a sense of purpose, hope, and comfort as you heal and find meaning in your journey.

Healing emotional trauma after pregnancy loss is a deeply personal and transformative journey. By acknowledging the impact of the experience on your body, mind, and spirit, and engaging in healing practices with intentionality, you can release stagnant emotions, cultivate self-compassion, and find a path towards wholeness. Remember to be patient and gentle with yourself as you navigate this sacred process of healing, honoring your unique journey, and embracing the light that can emerge from the depths of darkness.

This One is Personal, Sis

Thu, 16 Jun 2022 19:53:01 GMT

In an instant... EVERYTHING changed!

Trust Yourself And Your Intuition

Intuition is defined as "the immediate apprehension of an object by the mind without the intervention of any reasoning process” - The Oxford English Dictionary

Isaac Asimov said, “Intuition is the art, peculiar to the human mind, of working out the correct answer from data that is, in itself, incomplete or even, perhaps, misleading.”

So my question is… how is your relationship with this aspect of yourself? Can you find your own way through a situation with what seems to be incomplete data? Are you able to balance the left and right sides of your nature: instinct and logic, in order to create maximum persuasion?

We all have experienced gut feelings, mostly in the form of danger. Recognizing that you're in the wrong place at the wrong time before trouble shows up is an unpleasant reminder of our intuitive natures. Or maybe you’ve experienced it in a romantic situation, indicated by “butterflies”. We’ve all heard stories of a man or woman meeting their twin flame for the first time and thinking to themselves, ‘This is the person I’m meant to be with. I can feel it.’

The thing is, our inner wisdom / intuition is a muscle that can be strengthened. It is an aspect of emotional intelligence and through study, attention and patience, can be grown and used to further aid your persuasive skills.

Hunches, gut feelings and intuition are entirely acceptable to apply in business matters, as well as, life in general. Following these are signs that God is flawlessly guiding our lives as we’ve requested.

I remember being younger and wondering if my inner wisdom would ever be as strong as my Mother's. She just knew stuff, you know? I admired that about her among SO many things, and I wanted it for myself… I've always wanted to be like her. So I grew up, and I learned over time that our intuition is always communicating; we just have to be present enough to hear it, and what some people don't know is that the feeling of discerning what our intuition is communicating is difficult to teach. There has to be an allowing and a receptivity that creates space for this level of communication with God and higher self. I stumbled upon the ability to sharpen my inner wisdom as I began to become more consistent in my spiritual practices.

So what brought me to this desire to delve into my spiritual practices? I experienced the most difficult time of my entire existence between the years of 2016 and 2019. It all began when my Father lost his battle with lung cancer after it metastasized to his brain. What's worse? He passed away just 1 month after my now-husband had proposed to me. So there I was, "Daddy's little Girl" who had this long-awaited desire to experience my Daddy walking me down the aisle, and the realization that the dream would never become a reality. Then, it happened literally right before becoming my reality. I remember telling my husband, “I don't know if I’ll survive losing Daddy.” For the first time in my life I would never be able to say “this too, shall pass”. I knew that grief would stick with me.

Fast forward to the following year, my husband and I conceived our first baby, and experienced a devastating miscarriage 7.5 weeks later. And there I was again, "I don't know if I'm going to make it." My health began to fail, as I started experiencing numbness in my extremities and was ultimately diagnosed with neuropathy, yet none of the specialists could determine the cause. I went on to experience the loss of my 13-year career through a restructuring (layoff). Then, my Grandmother, my last-surviving Grandparent died and my Uncle, with whom my husband and I had developed a closeness, passed away suddenly just 6 months after Grandma. And while all of that was happening, my husband and I lost 3 more pregnancies to miscarriage, so a total of 4 in 4 years. Whew... it was ROUGH!

Now, more spiritual than religious as I lean into and explore this remembrance of the practices of my ancestors, but I grew up religious and attended church regularly, and during that difficult time I held onto it with everything in me. However, I always had this feeling that I was waiting for God to save me. I'll get into what I've termed this "save me" syndrome at a later date, but it was life for me at the time. I felt helpless, I felt hopeless, I felt alone because despite all of the amazing people in my life, still supporting me such as my husband, mom, brother, sister-friends, cousins, co-workers, etc., none of them were experiencing what I was going through. I also somehow knew there was more that I could do to heal myself and not wait to be saved (prayer without works, right?), but I just needed guidance from a more tangible source. Regardless of what was real or true, I knew that no matter what, I couldn't stay where I was - that was for SURE! I needed transformation - mind, body, and spirit, and then, I was introduced to a Queen who guided me to reclaim my power and recognize the ability that I had within to transform my life.

And in an instant — everything changed!

I began to pray differently, I began to meditate daily - not just occasionally, I connected to and sought guidance from my ancestors, I grounded and centered myself in the Earth / in nature, I nourished myself through plant-based foods, and I sought out reiki because the trauma from my experiences was trapped in my body and I knew I needed to release it in order to heal. As I began to vibrate at a higher frequency, it allowed me to become more sensitive to my inner wisdom - which opened the pathway to healing. This also assured me that I was Divinely guided and supported.

I'm not talking about just going through the motions. I'm talking about the steady, fortification and honing of the relationship with God, with thyself, to others and our desires, that only blooms through connection. When we just know, we act accordingly... like Mama did. That means praying and meditating on our heart's desires and taking heed to the promptings about which actions to take. Taking aligned action to achieve what we know rightfully belongs to us as if we already have it. Then, allowing God / Spirit to do the rest. When I began to see my desires manifest repeatedly by taking these steps, I realized it was no secret at all. And what I love most about it, is I can access this energy at any time by consistently taking the aforementioned actions... rinse and repeat!

Be careful, Sis, not to assume this is only about getting what you want. God isn't a genie in a bottle to be called on to grant wishes, and I still believe everyone has a destiny and a calling upon their life. Not everything works out the way we plan, but there's a beauty that comes from the fortification of relationships and usually, you find that the journey itself was more gratifying than you ever thought possible because you maintained a focus on the relationships and not the end goal. I told you Sis… this one's personal.

Think back to times when you had these feelings and didn’t heed the warning, or on the positive side of things… had a desire, but didn't heed the promptings. What unpleasantness could you have avoided if you had heeded the warning(s)? What positive desires do you believe you could have manifested if you took aligned action? By checking in, centering, and gaining clarity, our life is enhanced immeasurably in all aspects.

My personal experience, my skill sets, my education, my inner wisdom... THIS is what qualifies me to guide other women to reclaim their own personal power and heal themselves. THIS is what I have been called to do. THIS is what I love to do.
If you are struggling to heal your trauma, move beyond your grief, or connect with your inner wisdom, I urge you to join us for Wounds to Wisdom. It’s my 9-week collective healing journey that is designed to guide you in Aligning with Your Inner Wisdom to Heal from the Emotional Trauma of Pregnancy Loss.

Until next time... be well, Beloved.

Big Energy, It's Giving

Fri, 20 May 2022 19:37:40 GMT

So let's talk about it, Sis... starting with the chakras!

Hey Gorgeous!

My work is ALL about ENERGY… so let's talk about it, starting with the chakras!

"Chakra" also known as energy center is a term used in Pranic healing - which is an ancient Hindu system of energy healing. Prana means life energy. “Aura” is another term related to Pranic healing, and is a non-physical body that consists of energy and exists along with our physical body. Many of us have been blessed with the gift to see auras surrounding some people! The aura that covers our body is said to have seven layers pertaining to the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of an individual as manifested by energy.

Studying the color and thickness of auras gives ideas on the state of health of a person. Six colors are associated with an aura and interpreted into six personalities. These colors are all present in an individual, but one or two are more pronounced and I have broken them down below:

Green: Ambitious achiever

Blue: Spiritual peacemaker

White: Unconventional chameleon

Red: Activist

Orange: Creative communicator

Violet: Psychic

Though, in the West, Tantra is popularly associated with the practice of sex and spirituality, it is another method of energy healing and it comes from the word “tan” - which means to spread or expand .

Unlike Pranic and Tantric healings, which have Hindu origins, Reiki was discovered in Japan by Mikao Usui. It is relatively younger than Pranic and Tantric healings, having been rediscovered in the early 1900s. Reiki stands for universal life-force energy; an energy brought forth by higher intelligence. Students of Reiki, like myself, are taught how to tap into this energy to heal physical, emotional, and mental illnesses.

So Why Do People Turn to Energy Healing, Anyway ?

Well, for me, it happened after I began to develop neuropathy and after visiting specialist after specialist and getting tested for everything under the sun, was told I was perfectly healthy. The frustration and fear was on another level! So I did what most of us do… I took to the internet. I began to learn about how energetic imbalances can manifest themselves into physical disease and I sought practitioners to help balance my energetic frequency. I was so intrigued by energetic practices in general, I decided to become a Reiki Master. The benefits were CRAZY and I wanted to share them with others who had found themselves in a similar situation!

Pranic, Tantric, and Reiki are considered alternative methods of healing. In spite of the availability and relative accessibility of modern medicine, why are more and more people drawn to them? Here are some possible reasons:

Energy healing worked where modern medicine failed.

For several reasons both explainable and unexplainable, modern medical treatment can fail to heal ailments and conditions in a lot of people.

Modern medicine is considered to be isolating.

How many times have you gone to the Dr. for a physical health concern, and never asked a single question about your diet, prayer life, whether you meditate, etc.? Practically, everytime right?! Medical treatments are oftentimes focused on the symptoms of disease, often disregarding its cause, and this can make a patient feel isolated and treated like a mere host of the disease. Some hospitals are beginning to gradually promote holistic treatments to their patients, but many still only focus on the physical symptom and disregard the root in order to treat the whole being: mind, body, spirit. It's a MAJOR flaw in the American healthcare system… treat the symptom with medication in order to drive pharmaceutical profits. My 15-year experience within the healthcare industry exposed me to this philosophy and ultimately helped me draw the conclusion that I wanted no parts of it!

Energy healing is non-obtrusive and natural, thus it is safer.

Repeated surgical procedures are physically and emotionally traumatic for most patients. It is but a logical and attractive option to both patients and families to look for less stressful health interventions.

Energy healing is a good way of relieving stress.

Meditation is part and parcel of energy healing methods and this is an added benefit for highly stressed people.

Energy Readings & Reiki are the 2 types of Energy Healing modalities in which I specialize. Energy readings are a form of radionics or pendulum dowsing where I analyze your energy field using the elements: ether, air, fire, water, and earth. After a quick 10-minute assessment, I develop a customized program uniquely designed to address your specific concerns as well as anything uncovered during the reading, through holistic rituals, and gentle lifestyle adjustments. BOTH energy readings and reiki provide significant insight into our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual states and my extensive holistic health training and experience provides not only the insight, but they’ve qualified me to suggest holistic practices that can help you improve your overall well-being.

Energy readings can be done virtually, so if you have any concerns or even just curiosity, don't hesitate to reach out to me. I would love to provide you with a reading! **Must be local to Costa Rica for Reiki.

Until next time, Sis... Be well!

Ritual

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 19:48:44 GMT

Thank Me Later...

Hey Goddess,

Between family, work, home, and social responsibilities do you often feel that all of your time is spent taking care of others? Neglecting self-care is so easy in a busy world, but the consequences can be detrimental. Adding self-care practices to your daily routine can help to strengthen your health and well-being - allowing space for pouring into others. Plus, experts say the happiest and most successful people focus on self-care regularly!

Self-care = The highest form of self-love!

So Sis… do you have a self-care routine? If not, no judgment here, but keep reading because this one's gooooooood!!!!

If you struggle with self-care, it’s likely because you spend so much of your energy taking care of others that there’s nothing left in your well for yourself. By taking the time to do one selfish act you’ll be restoring your own importance, so I implore you to begin implementing some of these simple self-care strategies today and #thankmelater

1. Block out time for self-care in your schedule. That's right, put it on the calendar! Self-care is an ongoing process and just as you reserve time in your schedule for other appointments, set aside time to take care of yourself, too. And let's face it, if your cup isn't full, you won't be able to do all those other things on your calendar, so make this one a priority. You may be asking, “…and do what?” If that's you, I got you, Queen! Some women like to use this time to pray and/or meditate. Some like to get active and go for a run, do yoga or hike through nature. Other women decide to light some incense, sip some herbal tea and read a chapter out of that book that's been sitting on the nightstand for months. Some like to draw a warm bath, add a few drops of their favorite essential oil or some nourishing herbs, pour a glass of wine and un- wind. And others like to use the time to sit in silence and do absolutely nothing. The beauty of your routine is that it's all yours, so whichever ritual resonates with your spirit is exactly how you should move because you're being guided by your inner wisdom. If you're short on inspo, these next few ideas should get the juices flowing!

2. Reconnect with nature. They say if you want to see God, open your eyes. I say if you want to see God, open your eyes in nature . God is all around and will use so many different vehicles to communicate with us; we just need to be sensitive enough to recognize them. So what's my go-to strategy? Focus my intention on connecting to the Divine Feminine within me to create space for the ‘allowing’. This means, activating the flow and connecting with God in nature by utilizing all of the senses. I allow myself to be open to new discoveries or perhaps redefine “beauty.” I allow the ways in which I connect with the Divine to be intuitively-guided, meaning if I feel led to meditate in nature, I do it. If I feel led to ground in the earth (stand, walk or sit barefoot) for 30 minutes, I do it. If I feel led to watch the sunset or stargaze before bed, I do it. If I feel led to hike through the coffee plantations in my beautiful Costa Rican backyard, I do that. My intention is to open myself to all the many ways the Divine will communicate with me… including through encounters with the wind, maybe a feather in my path, or even animal spirit totems . No matter how you choose to center yourself in nature, the importance is that you're present - which will improve your overall well-being over time so GET OUT THERE, GIRL!!

3. Replace negative thoughts or self-talk with the positive. This one is pretty self-explanatory, but if you're anything like me you are your biggest critic so it might take a bit of practice, but you know what they say… practice makes perfect! Thoughts become things, so which would you rather manifest in your life? The negative thoughts about who you think you are in a moment of frustration or disappointment, or more of all the beautifully, amazingly, wonderfully, fabulous things about who you actually are? I'm willing to bet that you would much rather manifest more of the latter and not the former, so get this one in your spirit, Love!

4. De-clutter. Whether you decide to de-clutter your closet or clean out the fridge, removing clutter will raise the frequency of your space because it allows stagnant energy to dissipate - which in turn, uplifts your spirit. Clutter can drain you physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically. It can also make you unhappy or frustrated as you try to move through your day. After de-cluttering, you can also smudge your space with some white sage or palo santo as it further clears negative or stagnant energy. Regardless of how you choose to de-clutter, you should eliminate the things that no longer serve you in all ways and take notice of the difference it makes.

5. Make note of the compliments you receive. Now, I'm sure you've seen the meme… the one where Idris Elba compliments you, and you utter a mental “Okaaaayyyyy, you still got it, Sis," but if it's Flavor Flav you're ready to file a sexual harassment complaint? LOL! I get it, but this isn't necessarily about that so don't let this one stress you out! I mean, of course you can take note of the compliments you receive from your mate or potential suitors, but this also applies to the random stranger that compliments your outfit or your boss who praises you for a job well-done, which means you can enjoy this self-care practice as you work or run errands! Just start taking note of the compliments you receive by jotting them down in a journal, diary, or online folder. Your compliment folder can also include emails, notes, thank you cards, and other things that make you smile. This particular self-care practice will also help you combat negative thoughts (see #2). Moreover, compliments serve as little reminders that you matter, your existence is important, and someone appreciates you.

Whichever rituals you use to create your routine, it’s important to adopt self-care habits that you can enjoy on a regular basis because they’ll help you increase your productivity, avoid burnout, and allow you to enjoy life. And anything can be ritual because it's all about the care with which it's executed and the intention behind it. I'll leave you with this… peace resides within fulfillment so start making time for you today.

Chat Soon, be well!